If you're looking for a distraction...

So, I was catching up on the news today (it's part of my job as a Civics & AP Government teacher, which means it doesn't count as procrastination! haha), and I found this:  http://www.cnn.com/2011/LIVING/03/21/cb.odd.interview.questions/index.html?hpt=Sbin

Those are crazy interview questions - particularly the one about the color of your brain!  What in the world?  Oh!  And the one about the name you would give yourself if you were a professional wrestler. I. Have. No. Idea.

Heels & Devils

Welcome to the annual Heels & Devils post.  Remember last year's?  Here we go...

Heel:  Student teaching is going great.  I love every day of it!  I laugh out loud at least once a day!

Devil:  Student teaching is exhausting.

Heel:  There are less than 5 months until the wedding!

Devil:  It might snow again tonight...

Heel:  If it does, we might get a 2 hour delay!  Yay!

Devil:  I have been a terrible blogger since the new semester started...

Heel:  I can only get better from here. Ha.  (It's not that I don't have anything to talk about, because I could talk write your ears eyes off.  There is just not enough time!!)

Devil:  It has been a LONG week already!

Heel:  My birthday was Monday!

Devil:  I am starving.

Heel:  I'm about to go eat!  Yay!

GO HEELS!! 

Frosty the Snow... Giant?

I saw this on the news this morning...


Yes, those are tire buttons, a traffic cone nose, and a swimming pool hat...  Wow.  I'm glad I don't live there!

8 Things We Should Change

In no particular order...

1. Valentines Day.  Get rid of it.  Every girl wants to feel special - but on every other day of the year.  Buy candy and flowers and make cards on the other 364 days of the year when it is not expected - now that would be romantic!

2.  Teachers teach and preachers preach.  If we're going to keep it this way, we need to decide if preachers have preached/teachers have teached -OR- preachers have praught/teachers have taught. Who felt the need to mix it up?

3. While we're on that note... if geese is plural for goose, then meese should be plural for moose.  I'm just saying... it trips me up every time I have to say it... mooses?  meese?  moose?  Oh and don't get me started on mongooses.  Ahhh.

4. The price of three ring binders.  It must cost less than $1 to make them, yet Staples sales them for $7-10.  Ridiculous.

5. Smaller conditioner bottles.  It happens every time - I run out of shampoo before I run out of conditioner... so then I have to buy the same kind of shampoo so that the remaining conditioner will match... and then I run out of conditioner before I run out of shampoo.  I'm convinced that the companies do it on purpose so you will continue buying their product.  But listen here you shampoo and conditioner companies... I'm on to you.

6. Jokes about father-in-laws.  People are always joking and raging about their mother-in-laws. (Not me! I have a great future mother-in-law.)  But (!!), no one ever tells a father-in-law joke.  As a potential future mother-in-law, I think this needs to change!

7. Caskets.  If you step back and look at our burial traditions for a second, they are kind of silly.  First, we spend thousands on a "pretty" casket, and then we put it in another box.  Then, we put it in the ground.  Why spend thousands on a "pretty" casket?  In my opinion, caskets are not so pretty...  And have you ever heard someone comment, "Boy they really cheaped out on the casket!"  No!  Everyone always says how "pretty" it looks.  My dad and I have a solution - Rent-a-Casket.  When it's time to bury the casket, swap it out for a cheaper one and save your money for something that can be used in this lifetime.  My mom thinks we are ridiculous.  Haha.

8.  Easter eggs & the Easter bunny.  I like painting eggs for Easter and I use to love Easter egg hunts as a child - but why eggs?  Does the Easter bunny lay eggs?  Why is it an Easter bunny and not an Easter fairy?  Or if we're going to continue painting eggs, why not an Easter bird?  A bird flying around the world makes more sense than a bunny hopping from door to door.  Just a suggestion.

Just in case you were wondering...

This sign is at the church where our family reunions are held... the same church that my granddad and all 12 of his brothers and sisters grew up... Oh boy, we had a good laugh at this one.  Haha!

Update on Mom

Mom is recovering well from Gamma Knife.  As you would expect, she is tired and has experienced some headaches and body aches.  This weekend, she went to Weston's baseball tournament in New Bern and did fairly well, although it definitely caught up with her on Monday and yesterday.  She will have scans in 5 weeks to see the results.  I'm praying for no cancer.  I'm trying to stay positive and remind myself that this could be God's way to get the doctors to take some action on the "inactive" tumors in her brain and get rid of them once and for all.  Amen? Amen!

A few weeks ago, Mom and I went to get haircuts at the mall.  We passed through JC Penny on the way and saw these CUH-RAZY hats.  We decided to try them on and I sure am glad that we did:

How cute is my mom? 


Whew!  That one is a definite for the wedding!  She will definitely get the attention she deserves wearing that!  Hahahaha

We had a great time laughing and goofing off.  The several people that walked by us were definitely not as amused... but poo on them!


I mean, how could you not giggle at that hat?

Five Question Friday

I've been seeing this blog carnival for a while now, but I always seem to forget about it until after it's over.  This week I remembered, so here it is!

1. Do you have any nicknames and if so how did they come about?
When I was little my dad called me Peanut & my mom called me Fred.  I have no clue about the origins of those nicknames, but when I was about 4 or 5 years old, my parents thought it was a good idea for me to have bangs.  That was their first mistake... the second mistake came when Mom thought it would be a good idea to trim my bangs herself... using scotch tape as a guide.  Well, long story short - the tape was crooked a couple times and I ended up with centimeter long bangs.  It was then that my neighbor and family friend gave me the nickname "Laurason" (pronounced Laura-sahn). True story.  You can't make that stuff up.  And so began my hatred for bangs... & a terribly embarrassing nickname.

2. What is the birth order amongst your siblings?
I am the eldest and my brother is about 10 years younger than I am.  My parents always say that if Weston came first, he would have been an only child.  I guess my parents kind of have 2 only children since there's such a big gap between us.  Anyways, you know the saying that the 1st child is like the father, the 2nd is like the mother, and the 3rd is like the mother & father's relationship?  Well that is definitely true for us.  :)

3. In a movie of your life, who would play your significant other?
Matthew McConaughey!  He reminds me of Parker... and he is um... you know...!   Whew!  :)  Moving on...

4. What is currently your favorite song?
Ooo, tough one.  "Carolina In My Mind" by James Taylor would be #1.  Close behind would be "Let It Be" by the Beatles, "Your Hands" by JJ Heller, "Be Thou My Vision"... oh man the list could go on and on, so I'll stop now.

5. Are you saving your money for anything right now? Big or small purchase?
The question should be what am I not saving money for right now.  Let's see... we're saving for house stuff, graduate school, wedding bands, honeymoon, house stuff, house stuff, and... house stuff (including but not limited to... furniture, paint, hardware, and appliances).

Another dose of Weston-isms

Weston-ism: [noun] cute and/or funny quotes spoken by Weston, also known as my 11-year-old brother now 12-year-old brother

Recently I asked Weston what his dream car was, his answer?  "A Mack Truck"

Then I asked him what his dream job was... he said "To be Santa Claus at the mall"

Later that week we passed a crew working on a billboard, and Weston said "Its my goal in life to have my face on a billboard."  A moment later he added, "I'm going to be on a billboard for being the best mall Santa Claus ever."

We were watching TV the other day, and someone said that someone was deaf and Weston started laughing.  Dad asked him if he knew what deaf meant.  Weston said "Yeah, it means you can't hear.  It's like you have ears that are blind."

I had to talk to the cashier's office the other day about my tuition bill, and I was telling my dad that I had no outstanding charges, and Weston said sarcastically, "I thought you were an outstanding student sis."

Dad takes Weston to hit balls a couple nights a week.  One night, Weston was "strokin it" according to Dad, and Weston quipped, "I told you I've been doing my pushups."

For the last round of Weston-isms (along with links to the other ones), check out this post.

Betty Bookbag

 

Breaking News

Recently, a Childhood Toy Conference took place in Myrtle Beach, SC. Five representatives of concerned citizens all over America met to discuss a major crisis in the toy world - Polly Pocket. The representatives, Roman, Lauren, Erin, Amanda, & Laura, spent a long afternoon sweating over the awful changes to the popular girls’ toy, though they were able to cool off in a nearby pool with several floats and cool drinks.

The group believes that Polly has been treated unfairly under the pretense of a so-called choking hazard. The women in the group balked at this claim, saying that they had never attempted to consume the small toy, and neither would anyone else who properly appreciated the greatness of Polly.

The group was further concerned that Polly’s creators had participated in false advertising, as the new Polly Pocket does not fit in one’s pocket. One representative who asked to remain anonymous said, “Polly was intended to fit in your pocket, and now with her enheightened size and accessories, I’m afraid she can only fit in your bookbag.”

The group believes that Polly’s creators took advantage of the criticism Barbie’s creators are facing in regards to body image. By making Polly bigger, the creators tried to make her more realistic. “She’s still made of plastic, even if she now has real hair,” one woman said.

The representatives want the toy industry to leave Polly alone! If you want to continue making this new doll, call her Betty Bookbag – Polly’s friend who is much bigger with much less self-esteem.

A little inspiration...

Candice shared this video with me this weekend and I wanted to share it with you guys.  Wouldn't it be nice if more people loved their life like this precious little girl??

Move over Emily Post

While I was searching for the correct way to address invitations, I came across many suggestions for proper etiquette.  It got me thinking, "Boy is our society rude," and I live in the south!

So, here is my list of etiquette guidelines that I think everyone should know and follow:

• Always hold the door for someone who is less than 3 steps away.
• The person closest to the door on an elevator exits first.  If you are not getting off and someone behind you is, step to the side so they can exit easily.
• On the bus, if an elderly person, pregant woman, or small child is standing, kindly offer him/her your seat, especially if you are a man.  If a seat becomes open, a man should let a woman get first dibs.
• Be aware of personal space on the bus, or in any tight public area.  Yes, that includes your 100 lb. bookbag.
• When two people walking towards each other are carrying umbrellas, the taller person should raise his/her umbrella to avoid bumping into the other walker's umbrella.
• It is not proper for a person to answer a phone call in the middle of a conversation or meal.  If the call is very important, politely excuse yourself, answer quickly, and return as soon as possible to the conversation or meal.
• Cover your mouth for goodness sake.
• Men need not to open the door, pull out a chair, or pay for every meal... but it sure is nice when they do.

That's all for now.

A Million Bucks

Side note (Can you start a post with a side note? Well, I am) -  Do you know why we call a dollar a "buck?" Apparently, buck is short for "buckskin" which was an exchange medium on the American frontier back in the day.

Anyways, on the drive from Greenville to Chapel Hill, I pass a NC Education Lottery billboard.  Right now the big prize is at $20 million, but I've seen it as high as $176 million.  I mean, what do you do with that much money??!!??  So I entertain myself on the otherwise boring drive by thinking of how I would spend that much money...

I would use around $150,000 to buy/fix up a house in Greenville for Parker & I to live in after we got married.  Probably a 2-3 bedroom with at least 2 bathrooms.  Probably somewhat of a fixer-upper (cause you know I'm a "do-it-yourself-er").  Nothing too big.  Nothing too fancy.  I would also use that money to buy furniture... cause as of right now, we don't have a lot.

I would pay for graduate school/rent/etc. for next year.

I would pay for our wedding.  And honeymoon.

I would give money to my parents because they deserve it.  I'd also set aside enough for Weston's college education.

I would give to our church.

I would give to organizations/causes close to my heart like:
- dEBra and Jonah
- Beaty & Carrie Bass' ministry
- Local families who are dealing with the cost of cancer treatment

Those are all pretty rational things I think.  When I try to think of what "luxurious" things I would want... I draw a blank.  I'm not very luxurious evidently.  Haha

I would maybe buy season tickets to the Carolina games.  You know, if they decide to ever win again. :)  I wouldn't buy a new car.  I like my little '98 Camry just fine... its got a few scratches, but I think they add personality :)  I'd like some white curtains from Target, just like my black ones.  I think white curtains would look fresher and lighter.  I probably would go shopping at Ann Taylor/The Loft.  (But I went the other day with gift cards in hand and they didn't have a lot that I loved).

So that probably brings my spending total to like $3 million - clearly, I am not a big spender.  I would invest the rest of it, using the interest to supplement my teacher salary (ha) and continue giving to others.

Oh, one more thing.  I would never go grocery shopping again.  Or ride the T bus.

What would you do??

We do not have a horse.

My mom texted me to let me know that we do not have a horse.  You know, just in case I didn't know. She also pointed out a typo in my last post (I wrote "coach" instead of "coat" - whoops!).  It cracks me up.

"I believe you may need to check your blog   I think we have a coat closet not a coach closet   we dont have a horse   love you"

Hahaha! Thanks Mom! I love you too!

It reminds me of the text from this post!  Remember it?

A dose of "Weston-isms"

Weston-ism: [noun] cute and/or funny quotes spoken by Weston, also known as my 11-year-old brother

Recently, my mom was talking to Weston about something, and the subject of Santa Claus came up. The following conversation ensued…

Weston: So you’re admitting that Santa Claus isn’t real?
Mom: Well, do you believe in him?
Weston: No, everyone knows that an old man can’t fly around in a sleigh and give presents to every kid in one night.
Mom: Well, just don’t ruin it for anyone who still believes.
Weston: Mom, everyone knows that he’s not real. There’s no way he could actually do all that.
Me: Well it’s more believable than the Easter bunny. He supposedly hops around the whole world and drops off Easter baskets to all the children.
Weston: He does?

For some 6th grade reason, Weston and his friends enjoy exchanging “Yo Mama” jokes. I’m not sure where the extreme joy of these unoriginal comebacks originates, but he gets a kick out of them. It is not unusual for him to come home and update us on the most current and “most hilarious” “Yo Mama” joke of the week. Recently, he was telling my dad one…

Weston: This guy at my lunch table said, “Yo mama is so fat, when she goes to Wal-Mart, they have to put a weight limit sign on the door.”
Followed by Weston’s hysterical laughter.  Then followed by:
Weston: But I don’t really get it.

Need some more?  Check out this or this.  You can even check out a few "Mark-isms" from my dad for some extra giggles.

My Friends are Prettier than Yours, Part II

Introducing My Friends are Prettier than Yours, Part II *

My friends are way prettier than yours...

...it's true!

See?

*Did you miss Part I? See it here!

Special message

Rolling bookbags, noisy kids at nice restaurants, drumming on the table... whatever your pet peeve is, there are always things that really grind our gears. For me? Guys leaving the toilet seat up. I hate it. It is not supposed to be left up. For one thing, it looks funny up. And, I don't understand how a guy can aim well enough to shoot a ball in a hoop or pitch a ball to a glove, but can't keep from peeing on the lid. Anyways, the lid should not be left up. Out of the four ways the toilet is used (2 for women, 2 for men) only ONE needs the lid up. Therefore, it should be put back down. Now, Parker is very good about this and I greatly appreciate it. Thanks honey!

Don't worry... I have a point, read on.

Parker also has a sweet way of showing that he thinks about me during the day. Evidence: Today he forwarded me an email called "Amazing Simple Home Remedies" and he added a special note. Read on...

Amazing Simple Home Remedies:

1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.
2. Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
3. For high blood pressure sufferers: Simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.
4. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives... then you'll be afraid to cough.
6. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
7. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.

His special message?

"Check out #2. I LOVE YOU!
Love, Parker"

Boys are Jerks & Girls are Stupid

Parker & I have been talking for some time now about how mean guys can be, and how silly girls can be, particularly when it comes to relationships. Not that we are experts or anything, but this is just what we have observed. We've had a whole set of theories and funny conversations about it, but Parker wrote down his theory and I liked it so much that I asked if I could post it on my blog... I hope you like it and get a laugh or two or three... Please know that we are just being silly...kinda... It's called "Boys are Jerks and Girls are Stupid"

Boys are Jerks & Girls are Stupid

This idea may surprise some of you, but by the time I am finished, I’m sure you will all agree with me. Close your eyes and think back to when you were little - about 4 years old or so. If you are a boy, what would you do when girls were around? Girls, think about what you would do when boys were around. You can open your eyes now. I can remember when I was in kindergarten – about 5 or 6 years old. We had stations set-up around the room and the teacher gave us a certain amount of time at each station. My favorite station was the one that had the cardboard bricks and beanbags. Raise your hand if you ever played with these when you were young. About two or three stations ahead of mine was a group of girls. As you all know, boys like to build, put things together, and play war. We enjoy playing with guns and playing good guys versus bad guys. Anyways, in my station, I would build a wall out of these oversized cardboard bricks. I would build the wall about four blocks high and as long as it would go. I’d barricade myself in a fort, and when the teacher wasn’t looking, I’d throw a beanbag over my wall at the girl’s station. Now most of the females are probably thinking, “Aww, you were flirting.” But, if you think about it, it wasn’t a nice thing to do… throwing things at girls and all… Boy=jerk. Then, the girls would get mad and, at their earliest convenience, they’d throw the beanbag back at me. But I was in my fort, so the beanbag would knock over my wall of bricks. After I had my ammunition back, I would rebuild my wall and the process would repeat. Girls=stupid.

Now move up in age to late elementary school. What always happens? The boys chase the girls around the playground. Boys=jerks. You might ask how this makes the girls stupid… DUH!! They keep running! If the prey is caught, the game is over.

Then middle school comes along and boys start to find girls attractive. Girls mature faster than guys do. Boys make fun of girls for maturing sooner and girls become self-conscious because of boys. Boy=jerk, Girl=stupid.

High school has the same result as middle school, except now the girls are dating the guys that made fun of them in middle school. In high school the story goes… guy kisses his girlfriend’s friend. Boy=jerk. Girl breaks up with boy. Girl’s friend starts dating boy. Girl’s friend=stupid. Boyfriend cheats again. The vicious cycle keeps going on and on.

College comes along, boyfriends are still cheating, and girls are still dating cheaters. Girl gets ditched by boyfriend. Girl turns to friend. Boyfriend finally shows up, but girl is with her friend. Boyfriend gets mad that girl left and makes her feel guilty. Girl feels bad and apologizes. Boy=Jerk, Girl =Stupid

Does anyone see a pattern here? This pattern continues throughout life. But, wait! What about people who are married for 40/50 years? My first response is 60% of new marriages end in divorce. However, the couple that makes it 40/50 years has found a way to work with the pattern. Girl finds guy who is a slight jerk because she is smart enough not to put up with a complete jerk. Guy finds a girl that he couldn’t stand losing and tries his best not to be a jerk. The guy is still a jerk at times and the girl is still stupid at times, but they have found a unique way to coexist together. Thank the Lord.

Happy November!

I cannot believe it is already November!! This semester is flying by!! I can't lie... I am ready to reclaim my life after I finish this semester. 18 Hours + Friend's wedding + Senior History Research/Thesis + Babysitting = kicking my butt. Five more weeks of class left before exams! I can do it.

Oh my goodness, I found my Burt's Bees lip balm today. Praise the Lord. Really, I screamed with joy when I found it in my coat pocket this morning. Ask Amber. It's true.

Quick story:
Last Friday in my Art History class, I got called a nerd. And picked on by the professor (it's a small, friendly class, don't worry). You see, we were talking about how artists commemorated the Emancipation Proclamation... We got on the subject of Lincoln and we were talking about how he is standing in almost all the paintings. A girl in the class said "He was unusually tall so the artist probably painted him standing so he wouldn't look abnormal compared to a chair... I think he had some disease" and I said, "Oh, he had Marfan syndrome." Everyone laughed at me and some guy called me a nerd. The professor said "Oh we have a Lincoln fan I see."

Um not really. You see, in my high school anatomy class I had to do a project on Marfan Syndrome and that's how I knew about it. But really people... doesn't everyone know that?

So there you go. Art History, History, & Anatomy nerd. Great...

Not Me Monday!

Is it already Monday again? I guess so... Welcome to "Not Me" Monday, a blog carnival started by Mckmama. Tell all the embarassing things you did not do this week and go to her blog to check out what everyone else is not doing.

I am not doing "Not Me" Monday this week just so I can enter in a contest to win a canvas from GeeZees.

I have not tried every remedy I can think of to get rid of this cold. I did not gargle warm salt water, drink hot water, smother myself with a warm wet wash cloth, drink hot tea, inhale Vick's Vapor Rub, suck on an entire bag of cough drops....

I also did not eat Chicken Noodle Soup for breakfast yesterday because of a sore throat from said cold.

I did not, at last, borrow some prescription strength good ol' medicine from a roomate (that works like a charm) to help my said sore throat feel much, much better.

I mean... do you have any suggestions??

I also did not hit Parker with the Wii controller on Saturnday night at Candice & Jacob's... (I mean, it was my first time playing Wii... I got a little excited and he was too close, haha)

What did you not do?

Wanting What We Can't Have....

... can be so darn funny!

My friend/roomate/bridesmaid Roman told me about this study... and these kids are so funny. I laughed out loud. In the Undergraduate Library. People Looked. I was hysterical. Crying even. It was So. Worth. It. Watch and see.... http://funnyvideos.todaysbigthing.com/2009/09/15.