Boys are Jerks & Girls are Stupid

Parker & I have been talking for some time now about how mean guys can be, and how silly girls can be, particularly when it comes to relationships. Not that we are experts or anything, but this is just what we have observed. We've had a whole set of theories and funny conversations about it, but Parker wrote down his theory and I liked it so much that I asked if I could post it on my blog... I hope you like it and get a laugh or two or three... Please know that we are just being silly...kinda... It's called "Boys are Jerks and Girls are Stupid"

Boys are Jerks & Girls are Stupid

This idea may surprise some of you, but by the time I am finished, I’m sure you will all agree with me. Close your eyes and think back to when you were little - about 4 years old or so. If you are a boy, what would you do when girls were around? Girls, think about what you would do when boys were around. You can open your eyes now. I can remember when I was in kindergarten – about 5 or 6 years old. We had stations set-up around the room and the teacher gave us a certain amount of time at each station. My favorite station was the one that had the cardboard bricks and beanbags. Raise your hand if you ever played with these when you were young. About two or three stations ahead of mine was a group of girls. As you all know, boys like to build, put things together, and play war. We enjoy playing with guns and playing good guys versus bad guys. Anyways, in my station, I would build a wall out of these oversized cardboard bricks. I would build the wall about four blocks high and as long as it would go. I’d barricade myself in a fort, and when the teacher wasn’t looking, I’d throw a beanbag over my wall at the girl’s station. Now most of the females are probably thinking, “Aww, you were flirting.” But, if you think about it, it wasn’t a nice thing to do… throwing things at girls and all… Boy=jerk. Then, the girls would get mad and, at their earliest convenience, they’d throw the beanbag back at me. But I was in my fort, so the beanbag would knock over my wall of bricks. After I had my ammunition back, I would rebuild my wall and the process would repeat. Girls=stupid.

Now move up in age to late elementary school. What always happens? The boys chase the girls around the playground. Boys=jerks. You might ask how this makes the girls stupid… DUH!! They keep running! If the prey is caught, the game is over.

Then middle school comes along and boys start to find girls attractive. Girls mature faster than guys do. Boys make fun of girls for maturing sooner and girls become self-conscious because of boys. Boy=jerk, Girl=stupid.

High school has the same result as middle school, except now the girls are dating the guys that made fun of them in middle school. In high school the story goes… guy kisses his girlfriend’s friend. Boy=jerk. Girl breaks up with boy. Girl’s friend starts dating boy. Girl’s friend=stupid. Boyfriend cheats again. The vicious cycle keeps going on and on.

College comes along, boyfriends are still cheating, and girls are still dating cheaters. Girl gets ditched by boyfriend. Girl turns to friend. Boyfriend finally shows up, but girl is with her friend. Boyfriend gets mad that girl left and makes her feel guilty. Girl feels bad and apologizes. Boy=Jerk, Girl =Stupid

Does anyone see a pattern here? This pattern continues throughout life. But, wait! What about people who are married for 40/50 years? My first response is 60% of new marriages end in divorce. However, the couple that makes it 40/50 years has found a way to work with the pattern. Girl finds guy who is a slight jerk because she is smart enough not to put up with a complete jerk. Guy finds a girl that he couldn’t stand losing and tries his best not to be a jerk. The guy is still a jerk at times and the girl is still stupid at times, but they have found a unique way to coexist together. Thank the Lord.