Monday, August 30, 2010

Stress

I rarely get stressed out – maybe once a year. I’m not talking about “I have a lot of stuff to do” stressed out or “My life is crazy” stressed out – I’m talking about “oh my gosh my life feels out of control” stressed out. Let’s be honest – if it was the first two, I’d be stressed out all the time and you probably would be too – cause who doesn’t have a lot to do and whose life isn’t crazy? The “oh my gosh my life feels out of control” stressed out is not to be confused with “I feel out of control of my life” – because I never feel in control of my life, which is because I’m not – God is, but I’m not trying to be all “I turn my life over to God all the time and its easy peasy” it’s just that I don’t feel in control ever – If I was in control cancer would not exist, I’d award myself a masters degree without going to school, give myself a job, and not ever worry about money.

So when I get stressed it usually goes something like this: I feel great. Life is good. I wake up one morning and feel stressed. Then a minor thing happens and I get more stressed out. Something else that usually wouldn’t bother me makes me feel even more panicked. And so it continues for a day or two or five. Then I’m all like, “I should’ve seen this coming” because there are always signs.

Signs that I’m stressed: My room is a MESS. My inbox is full of unimportant emails that I don’t delete because I think I might need them the next week. I just want to sleep. I feel an urge to write down everything.

Also, I almost always get stressed about the same things – health, money, time... You know, all the things that I can totally control… Not. Oh, and parking in a parking deck. THAT will stress me out in a heartbeat, but that is neither here nor there.

Then I go through this period of feeling guilty because I think, “If you just let God handle it, you wouldn’t be so stressed,” and “You must not be close enough with God.” Then I’m all like, “GEEZ? Do you not know how powerful Satan can be? Just because he got inside your head, doesn’t mean that God’s not on your heart.” And then, I usually read this letter (that probably made you think I was Crazy with a capital C, but it was very liberating, and I encourage you to do it if you ever feel the same way – stressed, not Crazy I mean) and then I drink a mountain dew. And clean my room. Delete my emails. Go to bed early. Write my lists. And let God do His thing.

Ah… maybe I should add talking (or writing) really fast to the list of things I do when feeling stressed…  And run-on sentences.  Oh wait - I do that anyways.

laura ann

1 comment:

Kerin Lee said...

I've been feeling some serious stress lately too. Like you my life is always stressful but it's been over the top lately. Just keep your faith and things will look up!