Curveball

Thoughts running through my head the last several hours:
- You've got to be kidding me.
- I can't freakin' believe this.
- God? Where the heck are you and what are you doing?
- I can't freakin' believe this.

Let me bring you up to speed. My mom has been experiencing some numbness in her right arm for several weeks and was scheduled to have a nerve conduction study... um, today. Last Thursday at the beach (which was wonderful by the way, we had a great time), she had a severe headache and some nausea. We just thought it was a sinus headache or something. Yesterday morning she woke up with a "litte black tadpole in her eye" (meaning she felt like something was in her eye...) It kept bothering her so she went to the eye doctor. The doctor was concerned about high blood pressure so they checked it out and it was very high. So an ambulance came and picked her up and took her to the ER. To find out what was going on the ER doctor ordered several tests - CT scan of the brain, blood work, EKG... - well, turns out she has 3 spots on her brain. Cancer.

Yuck. I hate that word.

So now she is in the hospital, getting more tests today - an MRI for one - and is scheduled to start radiation today. Her oncologist has been to see her this morning and is meeting with the tumor board today. She says that they have been seeing this in several breast cancer patients lately and that it has been very treatable. Yadda yadda.

Because of the tumors, her brain is swelling which is causing these symptoms (numbness, high blood pressure, headache, nausea...) They've given her Decadron, an anti-inflammatory, to help decrease the swelling and hopefully get rid of the symptoms. The radiation will help with that too.

Another oncologist came by this morning to talk to us. Apparently, the Herceptin (preventative treatment my mom had for a year and half) is made of large molecules that can't break through the blood-brain barrier so it is inadequate for brain metastases. While the rest of the body is clean, the brain goes without. He expects my mom's oncologist to have her go through radiation to shrink the tumors and use the Gamma Knife later, if necessary. There is also a new Herceptin drug in the form of a pill that does reach the brain that he expects my mom's oncologist will use. So... that is where we are now. My mom's oncologist is coming after lunch, the radiation doctor is coming around lunch, radation at 2:00 this afternoon, and MRI whenever they call her for it. We are sitting here at the hospital hurrying up and waiting.

I am mad and then I'm sad. I am strong and then I'm nervous. I am frustrated and then I'm worried.

We are in the process of spreading the word to our friends and family. If you want to do something, pray. Prayer is what we need the most.